Endorsements & Feedback
Holding on to Love is a book that will serve as a mile-marker for parents and partners as they navigate the no-mans land of child-loss. There are so many chapters that I found incredibly accurate and helpful, even seven years after the loss of my daughter Ella Rae--The exercises and resources at the end of the chapters are thoughtful encouragements to live with grief and hope. Candy acknowledges the very real "gravity" of grief, and the whole book is centered around something most people are incredibly uncomfortable confronting. The final chapter on legacy took my breath away--as I was struck by the huge impact one person has made in so many hearts she will never meet. Neither of our daughters took a single breath this side of heaven, but they have been solely responsible for lifting up the corner of the curtain of heaven itself for many broken souls. For parents suffering through a loss, and for friends and family-this book is comprehensively helpful without being trite or prescriptive.
The focal point of the book is indeed love. The undying love the parent has for a child, and the sacred love that created them, the sacred love that must be kindled and carried on. I found a reflection of my own heart and my own story in these pages, and I felt seen, heard, loved and validated--it feels as if the purpose of the book is to love the reader. The pain is raw, the wounds are open and loving each other through the tragedy can almost feel impossible. This book has inspired me to come out of hiding once again. To recognize where I have been stuffing, coping and ignoring--and recognizing the love I've even withheld from myself on my grief journey.
~Ella Rae's mom, Jetty Rae
Singer-songwriter
"The kind of relational stress that a couple goes through after losing a child can be ugly and plain violent. The pain is raw, the wounds are open and loving each other through the tragedy can almost feel impossible. The words Candy and Dr. Chapman have written are incredibly compassionate and kind--you will find genuinely helpful advice, stories and resources. I'm in awe of the beauty that has come from such a devastating loss, and I'm thankful to be a witness to the legacy of love on these pages and words."
Senior Pastor, Free Chapel
New York Times Best-Selling Author
"Grief speaks a language all its own and this book provides one of the most thoughtful and compassionate approaches to ministering to those who are grieving. Holding on to Love After You've Lost a Baby is a book you will pick up time after time as you walk with people through their darkest days and guide them to that Light at the end of the tunnel."
Author of "It's Okay to Not be Okay" and "Praying Women"
"Losing a child is an unspeakable loss. Instead of holding your little one in your arms you have suddenly become part of a club no one would ever want to join. How do you navigate the pain? How does your marriage survive such grief? Candy has been there and in this book she will tenderly walk you down a path to healing, hope and to love."
Author, Motivational Speaker, Founder of Spiritual Health Weekends and Co-Founder of ngm and The Inspire Arts Trust.
"What an incredible book! This is a book that everyone needs to read, whether you have experienced loss or not. I have been inspired reading how Candy and Stephen selflessly give away what they learned through the trauma of stillbirth and miscarriage, which translates that many thousands are being helped in their journey too. This book is a wonderful and significant resource for grieving parents and a brilliant help for those who want to help family or friends who suffer loss. Read it and let it reach the depths of your heart, soul, mind and body because as you do, hope will begin to arise."
President of Loving on Purpose, Author of Keep Your Love On and Unpunishable
"As a parent and grandparent myself, I know that the loss of a child is the parent’s greatest fear. The force of this fear must be met with an even greater force of love to endure such tremendous loss. Candy McVicar’s insightful story and Gary Chapman’s wisdom are a perfect combination. The strategic blend these two bring is how we as couples, families and communities increase the experience of healing love and chase away crippling fear. There are few resources that I have found to be this succinct and powerful for the person who grieves."
"Losing a baby has been one of the most painful things that I have ever gone through. Candy’s and Gary’s book, Holding on to Love After You've Lost a Baby brings comfort and encouragement to grieving parents and gives insight to what's most helpful for friends of the grieving parents. The pages are filled with hope from those who have walked through the valley of losing a child."
Senior Pastor of The House Church
"As a pastor, I’ve walked many families through the process of grief. However, as a dad I had no idea how to face it for myself. It is hard to fathom, but my wife and I have gone through sixteen pregnancies in total, resulting in eight healthy children and eight waiting for us in heaven. Each time there was grief. Each time required facing fear. And each time God’s miraculous love brought healing. As I turned the pages of Holding on to Love After You’ve Lost a
Baby, I experienced the healing grace of the Lord. I highly recommend this book. Consider resourcing your church, counseling ministry, and mom’s groups with copies of Holding on to Love after You’ve Lost a Baby to have on hand to gift to people grieving."
Bereaved parents, Pastor at Forest Hill Church
“As parents who have experienced the loss of two children, we wholeheartedly recommend reading Holding on to Love after You've Lost a Baby. It is a great resource for parents walking through child loss and for friends and family walking along with them. Holding on to love after you’ve lost a baby is difficult, and this book reminds you that you’re not alone, you’re seen, and that healing doesn’t mean forgetting your precious child. Remembering always, our boys, Dobbs and Reed.”
Director of Strategic Outreach and Editorial Director, Free Chapel
“Holding on to Love After You've Lost a Baby is a gift to every parent who has experienced the worst kind of loss and the church leaders and friends called to come alongside. Having been on both sides of this dark valley, as a pastor and having lost our first child, Michael, in stillbirth, I can say from personal experience how valuable this book will be to the thousands of moms and dads silently grieving as well as those nearest to them who are searching for ways to love them through it.”
Bestselling Author
"Candy and Gary have taken on an important and much-needed conversation with this book. I know first-hand the pain of losing multiple pregnancies to miscarriage; it can feel so difficult, isolating, and hopeless. Knowing how to navigate this journey with love will be a gift to so many."
Mother to 4 precious babies in heaven and 19 wonderful children. Kelly, her husband Gil, and their family appear on the Bringing Up Bates reality TV show
"What a refreshing truth to help bring healing to hurt! This is a book that should be read by every pastor, teacher, counselor, doctor, mother, and friend. Though I have raised 19 beautiful children, my heart still often feels the loss of our four miscarried babies that are in heaven. No one prepared me for the months of tears and the emptiness that I felt. Though amidst an army of loving family and friends, there was still a loneliness that gripped my heart. How I wish this book had been available those many years ago! What a joy and encouragement it has been to read it now. When the unthinkable happens—the loss of a child—our world turns upside down! Candy McVicar and Gary Chapman walk us through the challenges, the emotions, and even the relational issues that accompany this unexpected and devastating loss.
Now there is hope for the hurting mom or dad, for the grieving friends and family who want to comfort but feel so helpless. I know this book will be a welcomed and treasured source of wisdom as you journey through this storm or as you help someone else through this painful road toward healing."